Ten travel companions to be avoided absolutely in order not to run the risk of ruining your holidays. Holidays with the perfect travel companion exist, select them carefully, because there is no turning back!
I 10 unbearable travel companions you find yourself driving. Sure each of you has had one!
10. the catastrophist
Also known as quellochemetteansia.
Before saying goodbye, wear your belt.
Then with his right hand he grabs the handle above the window while with his left he will press on the dashboard, restraining himself from any tossing.
If you think he doesn't trust the driver… you are right.
If you are forced to carry one after a good night out, it will be best to tie it up and
lock it in the hood, it could scream false alarms all the time.
9. the Abebebikila
Due to a nightmare that unconsciously makes him a distorted perception in the use of spaces, he will put the feet on the dashboard instead of leaving them in their place. He will walk on them, whatever the condition of his shoes - or his feet (in the famous version "AbebeBikila" / Ethiopian athlete who in Rome, in 1960, won the marathon without shoes). Female walkers love to leave their footprints on the rear window: don't stop them, it's a medical condition (in Hollywood they call it "Walk of Fame Syndrome"). Pissing on his scooter is good revenge, but you can't claim paternity.
8. the joker
In each ranking there is a joker.
In this is what writes WASH ME / PENIS / LIKE THE *** on the glass (of the dirty or fogged passenger) of your car!
7. the singer (from Sanremo)
For them, cockpit is synonymous with rehearsal room.
They will show all their enthusiasm by involving you in endless karaoke.
Their repertoire, in addition to the classic Italian songbook learned during the years in the scouts, includes various foreign hits of the nineties.
Fuck them in English, it will be the first word they learn to pronounce in that language.
6. the Charon
Those sitting in the front seat are the main cause of missing people.
It will lead passengers through very alternative streets in a vain attempt to be at ease in the streets of the city.
In the holiday variant, Charon will be able to find at least one good reason for everyone to be convinced of his effective ability to orient themselves ("I have a great-aunt who lives nearby, I've been there millions of times", you were 2 years old, ed).
When a Charon at the wheel carries another Charon, it is better to cancel the commitments within a week.
5. the Daedalus
He is Charon's alter ego. due to psychophysical characteristics, he will not suggest a route even if it were the one from his apartment to the garage.
Usually lost in chatter of any kind with the rest of the passengers, it will abandon you to your fate, washing your hands in case of loss. When everyone is resigned to spending the night wandering around in circles, he will attract everyone's hatred with phrases like "you should have shot before".
4. the donniebrasco
He has known you for years and, even though he knows the negative answer, he will ask you if he can smoke.
He does not have the perception of the seasons, so he will try to convince you of the concrete feasibility of the operation, proposing to light the cigarette and open the whole window. Even if you are in Oslo, in the middle of winter with low atmospheric pressure.
3. the ruminant
At any time of day or night your car will be the perfect place to grab a snack.
Usually this category includes individuals who conceive the word crumb only in the singular.
They will swear that the oil in the center of the seat was already there before they got on. It's actually true: they left it the previous time.
2. the diggei
Judging by its behavior it would seem that your car stereo is the only reason it's there.
The essential verb for DJs is “to change”: driven by an innate vocation they have the power to ALWAYS change the song before it's over.
For the DJ there are no rear seat passengers! For this reason, the diggei will always turn the volume knob to a level that cancels the communication, winning the push and pull with the driver from the start.
At the end of the journey it will leave the disc inserted: you have just won a glass rest to set the table with a musical theme.
1. The narcoleptic
Generally people with vitamins in real life, they systematically hibernate before the machine is in fifth gear.
The length of the journey is absolutely irrelevant for dream purposes: they will sleep deeply even for very short journeys.
Their sleep is irreversible, right up to their destination.
In the nocturnal variant, the narcoleptics will volunteer to drive before entering the scene. Don't believe him for any reason.
We thank ledieci.net for lending us this (hilarious) travel ranking!
