First step - the diagnosis: cataloging one's hatred for Milan
Se hate Milan why do you hate its gray sky, the humid climate, the noise everywhere, the dirty and whistling subway that kills your ear cells that will never recover again, if you hate it for its unjustified prices, for its often insipid buildings and its desolate streets just outside the magic circle of luxury, you are on the right track. Hatred for Milan is one healthy thing, of which boast the disease. But what has been said so far is not enough. If your hatred of Milan is limited here, you are still very, very far from safety. Indeed, if instead of coming to your mind an addition that begins with "but above all" and you come up with another that begins with "but nevertheless", you are off track. Indeed, perhaps it is better that you stop reading this post, since in all likelihood you are our "but above all".
Let me explain: I hate everything mentioned above and I probably forget something (pizza made of cardboard? tap water that I wouldn't even give my cat to drink? mosquitoes? fine dust?), but above all I hate ... Milanese.
Now, if reading the word "Milanese" the concept is perfectly clear to you, your hatred for Milan belongs to A league and this post is aimed at you more than ever. If instead you have a "??" above your head, I'm ready to offer you one last chance by briefly explaining what I mean by "Milanese". The Milanese identity includes a enthusiasm for Milan as a name (let's be clear: that enthusiasm of the phrase "oh, I'm from Milan"), extolling the possibilities that Milan offers referring to the aperitif in Corso Como from 15€ and to the evening at Just Cavalli with table and private room. It includes a particular complacency for an illusion of "exclusivity" in everything, falling instead in a homogeneous and soft blue light (rule no. Of the tourist in the city: never trust a place with soft blue lights). The Milanese then includes the do not greet their neighbors crossed the stairs and do not apologize to those who collide in the subway. It provides a good level of coolness in any situation that can lead to two extremes: the one with the shoulder strap by LV or the radical chic. In clubs and restaurants it makes everything minimal, exclusive, very expensive, not necessarily good at all (if you like, it's all very healthy at least). Milanese is what creates i cult of Milan (i.e. exactly the ones we won't talk about in this post).
If we have not understood each other yet, I will try to get out of every easy and Milanese reply:alternative with dred sitting on the ground in Colonne with beer. I personally am also passionate about fashion, I subscribe to Vogue and follow fashion blogs. I eat Grom's ice cream and go to private university. So I'm not going against one cliché to defend another - I'm taking it out on all clichés - i cliche who reign over Milan.
Second step - possible treatments
All right now that we have established symptoms and the parameters of the disease here is what to do so that the disease does not kill the poor students / workers / precarious / wanderers who have come to Milan and feel themselves being swallowed more every day in the abyss of the green metro that seems to be closer and closer to the center of the earth .
On the other hand, those affected by Milanese style are asked to stop reading. The places indicated below are sacred to those who shy away from you and would never want these too to be infected.
Method 1: pretend you are not in Milan
How to pretend not to be in Milan? escaping its most common and famous places, running away from the Madonnina and from the Navigli. Can it be? certainly, but it is more convenient for those with a car (no, the suggestion is not “get in the car and run away”, because in this case, on the ring road, you would feel more in Milan than ever).
The place that will make you feel better is called "Osteria Alla Grande“, Because for once the name wants to be a guarantee. The site looks like it was written by a madman or a genius. Do not be intimidated by the images and physically repellent hosts, but think carefully about the initial slogue: "Last stronghold against burgers, vegetarian foods, barley coffee and for those on a diet!" and to the words that conclude the presentation: “Here the prices, both for quality and quantity, are decidedly lower than in Milan. Covered: we pay, first abundant 8€, main course with side dish 13 euros, bulk wine, excellent, 7 euros, bottles 10 euros, sweets 4 euros, grappa 3 euros. At midday you can have a set menu for lunch, spending 9 euros, excluding drinks ”.
Now that we have framed the place I can tell you that the Osteria is very nice, well furnished, with an ancient taste, where you can see that tradition reigns supreme. There is no place less Milanese than this and perhaps the most faithful to Milan of all, if there is still a Milan outside the Milanese spirit. In fact the dishes are those of Lombard tradition and they are cooked, "as God commands". I had a great time, eating until it exploded and I spent € 28 in all (NB: until it explodes). I would recommend it to everyone, for any type of occasion, the place has a friendly atmosphere, but it is not spartan. It is neat and pleasant. A little out of the way for those who travel on foot and by public transport: via delle Forze Armed, 405.
For those without a car instead I suggest another place that clearly does not belong to Milan: the pizzeria da Aldo. For those who are not from Milan it is, visually, the most normal of pizzerias. For the Milanese it is probably an ultramondo. Particular signs: the pizza is good and in Milan it is not automatic (let's say it's a miracle). Furthermore i prices are low and the environment is neither cool nor alternative. You feel good, eat well and spend little. What more do you want? It is also in the center, a stone's throw from P.zzale Cantore, between Sant'Agostino and the Navigli.
Method 2: quality hunting
If you have no way to escape from Milanese life, at least don't let yourself be fooled by lights and sequins to spend a lot and eat badly. There are very bad quality places in Milan and others that, however, leave satisfied not only the restaurateur, but also the restaurateur.
One of these, of very recent discovery is Nerino 10, a trattoria in the center (Via Nerino is a beautiful side street of Via Torino, a stone's throw from the Duomo) which in the menu (seasonal) mixes the Milanese tradition with the flavors of the South. You eat both meat and fish and - above all - you eat very well. Excellent service, knowledgeable and helpful waiters. Excellent wines. The bucatini with cheese and pepper with guanciaetto are moving and if you have the courage you can eat mussels combined with the most unthinkable flavors. Average prices (starters on € 8 first and second courses between 12 and 15).
Another very pleasant place where you cannot be disappointed is Acquasala, Apulian restaurant in heart of the Navigli (Ripa di p.ta Ticinese, 71). The environment is elegant and refined, but it is not cold at all. On the contrary, it is warm and welcoming. The cuisine is excellent, for those who love the flavors of the Mediterranean - available online (with lots of recipes) for those who want to get an idea. The menu is rich and faithful to tradition for quality of products and simplicity. High prices, for when you want to treat yourself well (at least, they are justified prices).
Method 3: If you can't defeat the enemy, make him your ally
In the most Milanese places possible, sometimes something is hidden which, at least is more pleasant than anything else. If the enemy is around you, ally with him, keep sucking Milanese and set your eyes on Milan (as explained, things differ). Here the view will open on some corners of Brera, in the area of ​​Turati and Porta Venezia, Sant'Ambrogio and the Navigli. Make yourself impervious to the attacks of very common places and if something (beautiful) remains in addition to Milanese life, then there is hope.
Between Milan, Paris and New York, there is Of Licorice Violets, the patisserie / tea room behind the Brera academy, in one of the most beautiful areas of Milan. In addition to the wonderful tea by Mariage Frère (the only possible teas) you will find macarons and jams, cupcakes and cookies, grandma's cakes and berries. A mixture of different traditions linked by the red thread of the typical image of the "delicious cuisine" a little country, a little chic, a little grandma duck. In short, a very pleasant place for an alternative break to happy hour.
For the drink before or after dinner in the heart of the Sant'Ambrogio area (Via Edmondo De Amicis, 22) there is the coffee of the Pusterla, a room accessed by a gate that will immerse you in a green courtyard surrounded by plants that minimally help to forget about roads and traffic. Excellent choice of drinks and wines, nice place and pleasant environment. Open late, no blue lights or loud music.
Old Milan is easily found in the ultra-elegant Cucchi coffee-pastry shop, historic Italian restaurant founded in 1936 and always on the corner between Corso Genova and Piazza Resistenza Partigiana. Sweet and savory pastry, wines, coffee and - when the time comes - panettone. What wins, in addition to taste and tradition, is the atmosphere given by the renovated furniture in the Years' 50 and the continuity of its management, still in the hands of the same family, giving the place an even stronger sense of the history of Milan - the real one.
And here ends our mini-guide, a little out of line, of Milan. Don't worry, you won't stop hating it. But you will begin to breathe (not just smog).
